If you are my age (middle), you have no doubt been exposed to "Highlights for Children Magazine" (my mom signed me up and I read it, but for some reason I preferred "MAD".)

One of the regular features of "Highlights" was Goofus and Gallant, the on going story about two boys, one who lacked common sense (Goofus) and one who would grow up to be a Republican appointed justice on the Supreme Court (Gallant).  Examples included: "Goofus cuts in line.  Gallant waits his turn."  or "Goofus eats all the cupcakes.  Gallant has one so that others may enjoy them.""Goofus leaves all the lights and TVs in the house on because he doesn't give a damn about the electric bill and he doesn't have to pay it.  Gallant shuts the lights off because he'd like his family to be able to eat next month."  Okay, I admit it.  I made the last one up.

One more example:



Goofus breaks her father's heart and goes against her conditioning from birth by rooting for a team that sneaked out of town in the middle of the night to a pseudo city which resembles Naperville in a cornfield.



Gallant does what she's told and wears a Bears jacket to help her broken hearted step-father compensate with the realization that his own flesh and blood sold out on him.

You Da Man Dept.: I never thought I would ever say, write or think this, but John Kerry, YOU GO BOY!

Circus Circus Dept: One more shot at the farce that is Super Bowl media day.

Foot in Mouth Dept.: Some of Nick Sabin's off the record comments get recorded and put on the Internet.  While his comments were not horribly bad, some may find them offensive (like Cajuns.) 

Saban issued a statement yesterday that said,, in part, "The term in question is not language that I use or condone."  Well obviously Nick, while you may not condone it, you sure used it. 

Mike Price claimed that he didn't use or condone strippers, but we all know what happened there too.

Cartoon Cutout Dept.: Never have a talking milkshake, a box of fries and a meatball caused so many problems. Talking food banned in Boston.

Travel Alert Dept.: Plane ticket to Europe $800.  Hotel rooms, transportation, meals $1,500.  Not being able to see the Eiffel Tower all lit up because of global warming, priceless.