Random thoughts while wondering what ever happened to Ron Hassey:

It's the Law Dept.: Major League Baseball makes some minor rule changes.  Maybe someday they will adopt my rule about anyone leaving the dugout or the bullpen during a fight gets an automatic three game suspension.

Or, any owner who is so dense he doesn't believe that pitching wins championships (even though his 2005 squad proved it to him) gets suspended forever.

Gator Bait Dept.: If you've never been to  Vanderbilt's Memorial Gym in Nashville, you really need to make it once.  It is the court where ranked teams dreams go to die.  It's nice to see Kevin Stallings having a good year as he's a great guy who shares the same birthdate as me.

Dog Gone Good Dept.: We get to say it again: How'bout them Salukis!?

Somebody's Watching Me Dept.: Jim Lampley: Gifted announcer or creepy stalker?  You make the call.  Perhaps Jim needs to have a conversation with Marv Albert about the proper way to conduct yourself and how you become a target when you don't.

Why does it have to be someone with talent like Lampley?  Can't it be Jim Grey?  Or better still, Chris Berman, Stuart Scott or Gus Johnson.

Wizard of Oz Dept.: Chicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen seems a bit more introspective and controlled this spring training.  That's what happens when you know your team may finish fourth in your division even before the season starts.

Cocking Off Dept.: Usually players wait until they are actually enrolled at a university before they embarrass it.  How's Darth Visor going to compete with Georgia, Tennessee and Florida if his players are out ripping the town up?

Ship Out Dept.: Wondering what your favorite NHL team will do at the trading deadline (Feb. 27)?  Here's the skinny from people who know: Canadians.

Fat Chance Dept.: Isn't it nice to know that an overweight, mid-forties ex-athlete with a serious gambling problem can still outrun a 67 year-old man.  No wonder I don't pay any attention to the NBA.

If You Leave me Now Dept.: If Dale Junior were smart (and there is some conjecture there) he would worry less about his cousin who uses him as a meal ticket and more about getting Budweiser to leverage Theresa Earnhardt into giving him what he wants.  Just a thought.

Feeling Lucky Dept.: Clint Eastwood has been awarded the French Legion of Honor, the highest civilian honor France can provide.  Unfortunately, the ceremony was disrupted by a passing car that backfired causing the French to put their hands up and immediately surrender.

Picture This Dept.: I have always been opposed to having cameras in the court room.  It turns normal attorneys into Alan Shore.

I Want My Mummy: The mummified remains of a 70 year-old man were found in front of his TV set where apparently he had died over a year ago.  I guess those Brady Bunch marathons on TV Land are more addictive than we first thought.

We're in the Money Dept.: Winning lottery ticket: $1.  House in the suburbs: $250,000.  Being stupid enough to jeopardize the react of your winnings by running a crack house: Priceless.

Smack Down Dept.: Here's what happens when parents over react to their kids getting beat in an athletic event. 

The sad thing is on top of the fact that the guy has embarrassed himself and has earned national ridicule thanks to You-Tube, you have to think the parent of the kid who was chucked is lawyering up big time.  When the lawyers get done with him, the You-Tube thing will seem like a pimple on a flea.

Retro Dept: Da Bears are back and looking to shoot a horse.  It's not as funny without Chris Farley and it certainly isn't funny that they lost in the Super Bowl to a team from a cow town.

How Do You Talk To An Angel Dept.: Looks like North Dakota has set a record for most snow angels with 8,910. They would have done more, but that's the entire population of the state.