Let Dick Fix it
Random thoughts while wondering what ever happened to Don Pavletich:
Out of My League Dept.: While I am sure all baseball fans appreciate the intervention of FCC chairman Kevin Martin into baseball's deal with Direct TV, it should be noted that there is nothing the FCC can do about it.
Neither baseball or Direct TV fall under the proper jurisdiction of the FCC. This is akin to a congressman asking Martin to go to Fox and demand that Justice be uncanceled. Unless there is some kind of technical violation, Martin cannot stop baseball from making a deal with whatever carrier it wishes.
The best solution is to have GW, a huge baseball fan, direct Vice-President Chaney to take Bud Selig quail hunting. The thought of being alone with Dick Cheney holding a gun in the woods is enough to persuade anyone to do what he wants.
Show Me the Money Dept.: The Lovie Smith saga continues with the Bears holding firm on what they feel is a fair offer.
Bears President Ted Phillips had an opportunity to re-up Smith after last year's playoff run, but spun the wheel on this season. With a trip to the Super Bowl, Smith is clearly driving the negotiations.
On the other hand, while a good tactic with players, Smith's agent going to the media is a bad idea.
Both sides need to sit down, shut up, resolve it or move on before next season. Having Smith as a lame duck will severely hamper the Bears chances of landing free agents, retaining players or hiring quality coaches to replace the ones that were hired elsewhere.
It's time the Bears understand once and for all that this is not Papa Bear's NFL and coaches make a lot more money than back in the day. Better yet, sell the team to someone who does.
Bare Knuckle Dept.: There is nothing like good old school, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth hockey. I love this game.
I'll bet NHL commish Gary Bettman's undies are in such a wad this morning they will have to be removed by the jaws of life.
Stand Up Guy Dept.: Peyton Manning is restructuring his contract to help the Colts with the salary cap. Bears fans are hoping that Rex Grossman restructures his contract to help some other team's salary cap.
Lap it Up Dept.: Kool-Aid, the official drink of the 2007 Chicago White Sox.
Class Act Dept.: Apparently, Red Auerbach needed a guard. Here's to you, DJ. Your passion, your skill and your joy are a shining beacon to supporting players everywhere. \
Spare the Rod Dept.: I have a lot of respect for Houston Nutt. It's really sad prima donna parents and their spoiled sons are going to bring down his good work at Arkansas.
When did coaching college football turn into little league?
Pac Man Fever: It's time the Titans cut ties with this guy so he can become Tank Johnson's new housemate and drinking buddy.
Quick! Burn the Airchecks Dept.: While being a sports talk radio host gives you license to give your opinions, it does not give you license to tell mistruths (allegedly.) John Derringer should be grateful that Tie Domi has a lawyer and is not settling this issue the way he did on the ice. Although, that would be more interesting.
Fuzzy Math Dept.: Golfer Fuzzy Zoeller put down his fried chicken and watermelon long enough to hire a lawyer to sue a Florida company for defamation. An employee of the company allegedly used a company computer to post questionable remarks about Zoeller in Zoeller's Wikipedia bio. Since Zoeller can't sue Wikipedia because it is interactive, he had to trace the IP address of the poster and sue the company.
Keep an eye on this one kids, it could be a landmark case.
Opportunity for Diversity Dept.: It seems that the Rev. Jesse Jackson has never heard of Denzel Washington. Or Spike Lee. Or Wesley Snipes. Or Samuel L. Jackson. Or Whoopi Goldberg. Or Lawrence Fishburne. Or Danny Glover. Or Jamie Foxx. Or Oprah Winfrey.
Jesse, if you would just take time out from your busy schedule of photo ops and interviews and watch a movie once in a while, you wouldn't have this issue.
Brother, Can You Spare a Dime Dept.: Bill Gates may have to give up his lunch money next week. Or, perhaps, he can just toss the cushions on his couch and come up with some loose change.
Taxing Development Dept.: The INS raided a janitorial company in 17 states, rounded up 200 illegal aliens, but more importantly charged the owners of the company with tax evasion for not paying $18 million in payroll taxes.
If they continue to go after the enablers of the illegal problem, maybe the workers will have to sign up if they want to work. And, that's all we've ever asked for.
Back Off Dept.: Yeah, it's time to say Uncle on the Britney bashing. Unless of course you want her to end up like Anna Nicole Smith.
For Peet's Sake Dept.: Looks like Jordan from Studio 60 is a mommy. Too bad the show won't be around long enough for her to have a TV baby.
Monkey Business Dept.: Chimpanzees have been seen making and using spear-like weapons to hunt other animals. No word yet if the Bush administration considers these weapons of mass destruction. Hey, it's more than Iraq had.
Out of My League Dept.: While I am sure all baseball fans appreciate the intervention of FCC chairman Kevin Martin into baseball's deal with Direct TV, it should be noted that there is nothing the FCC can do about it.
Neither baseball or Direct TV fall under the proper jurisdiction of the FCC. This is akin to a congressman asking Martin to go to Fox and demand that Justice be uncanceled. Unless there is some kind of technical violation, Martin cannot stop baseball from making a deal with whatever carrier it wishes.
The best solution is to have GW, a huge baseball fan, direct Vice-President Chaney to take Bud Selig quail hunting. The thought of being alone with Dick Cheney holding a gun in the woods is enough to persuade anyone to do what he wants.
Show Me the Money Dept.: The Lovie Smith saga continues with the Bears holding firm on what they feel is a fair offer.
Bears President Ted Phillips had an opportunity to re-up Smith after last year's playoff run, but spun the wheel on this season. With a trip to the Super Bowl, Smith is clearly driving the negotiations.
On the other hand, while a good tactic with players, Smith's agent going to the media is a bad idea.
Both sides need to sit down, shut up, resolve it or move on before next season. Having Smith as a lame duck will severely hamper the Bears chances of landing free agents, retaining players or hiring quality coaches to replace the ones that were hired elsewhere.
It's time the Bears understand once and for all that this is not Papa Bear's NFL and coaches make a lot more money than back in the day. Better yet, sell the team to someone who does.
Bare Knuckle Dept.: There is nothing like good old school, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth hockey. I love this game.
I'll bet NHL commish Gary Bettman's undies are in such a wad this morning they will have to be removed by the jaws of life.
Stand Up Guy Dept.: Peyton Manning is restructuring his contract to help the Colts with the salary cap. Bears fans are hoping that Rex Grossman restructures his contract to help some other team's salary cap.
Lap it Up Dept.: Kool-Aid, the official drink of the 2007 Chicago White Sox.
Class Act Dept.: Apparently, Red Auerbach needed a guard. Here's to you, DJ. Your passion, your skill and your joy are a shining beacon to supporting players everywhere. \
Spare the Rod Dept.: I have a lot of respect for Houston Nutt. It's really sad prima donna parents and their spoiled sons are going to bring down his good work at Arkansas.
When did coaching college football turn into little league?
Pac Man Fever: It's time the Titans cut ties with this guy so he can become Tank Johnson's new housemate and drinking buddy.
Quick! Burn the Airchecks Dept.: While being a sports talk radio host gives you license to give your opinions, it does not give you license to tell mistruths (allegedly.) John Derringer should be grateful that Tie Domi has a lawyer and is not settling this issue the way he did on the ice. Although, that would be more interesting.
Fuzzy Math Dept.: Golfer Fuzzy Zoeller put down his fried chicken and watermelon long enough to hire a lawyer to sue a Florida company for defamation. An employee of the company allegedly used a company computer to post questionable remarks about Zoeller in Zoeller's Wikipedia bio. Since Zoeller can't sue Wikipedia because it is interactive, he had to trace the IP address of the poster and sue the company.
Keep an eye on this one kids, it could be a landmark case.
Opportunity for Diversity Dept.: It seems that the Rev. Jesse Jackson has never heard of Denzel Washington. Or Spike Lee. Or Wesley Snipes. Or Samuel L. Jackson. Or Whoopi Goldberg. Or Lawrence Fishburne. Or Danny Glover. Or Jamie Foxx. Or Oprah Winfrey.
Jesse, if you would just take time out from your busy schedule of photo ops and interviews and watch a movie once in a while, you wouldn't have this issue.
Brother, Can You Spare a Dime Dept.: Bill Gates may have to give up his lunch money next week. Or, perhaps, he can just toss the cushions on his couch and come up with some loose change.
Taxing Development Dept.: The INS raided a janitorial company in 17 states, rounded up 200 illegal aliens, but more importantly charged the owners of the company with tax evasion for not paying $18 million in payroll taxes.
If they continue to go after the enablers of the illegal problem, maybe the workers will have to sign up if they want to work. And, that's all we've ever asked for.
Back Off Dept.: Yeah, it's time to say Uncle on the Britney bashing. Unless of course you want her to end up like Anna Nicole Smith.
For Peet's Sake Dept.: Looks like Jordan from Studio 60 is a mommy. Too bad the show won't be around long enough for her to have a TV baby.
Monkey Business Dept.: Chimpanzees have been seen making and using spear-like weapons to hunt other animals. No word yet if the Bush administration considers these weapons of mass destruction. Hey, it's more than Iraq had.
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