Kenny May Need a New Wand After This Year
Random thoughts while wondering what ever happened to Todd Ritchie:
Hands Up Dept.: Kenny Williams is like the Fairy Godmother in Cinderella. He chooses his target, sprinkles some magic dust and POOF! a player considered a risk or on the down side of their career suddenly springs back to life and has a productive season. Sometimes, the spell lasts a while (Orlando Hernandez, AJ Pierzynski, Jermaine Dye) sometimes it wears off quickly (Cliff Polite, Neil Cotts, Scott Podsednik) and sometimes it doesn't take at all (Billy Koch, Scott Schoeneweis, Willie Harris).
Kenny Williams is beginning to discover that other teams know his M.O. and are introducing him to their best reclamation projects. Kenny, like Bob Vila, never met a challenge he didn't think he could overcome. So he deals prime beef for a hand full of magic beans, convinced that with a little water, a little air and a little love, there will be beanstalks a plenty on the South Side. Based on spring training so far, this may be a bad year for beanstalks.
Two of Williams new acquisitions, Andrew Sisco and Gavin Floyd appear to be head cases. Why else would Williams chew out Sisco yesterday? Floyd, practically handed the fifth starter role, has faltered mightily, just like he did in Philadelphia. According to his catcher Pierzynski "He worries too much about his mechanics and that sort of thing." Heck, the Sox already have a pitcher like that: Jon Garland. And Floyd is no Garland, but may be replacing Garland next year.
Sisco, acquired from Kansas City, was a castoff from the Cubs organization. As badly as the Cubs have needed pitching the last couple of years, don't you think Sisco, a lefty, would have been able to find a spot if he had any command of his pitches at all? This guy is a left handed Rick Vaughn.
Floyd, who was supposed to be a big part of the Phillies for years to come, totally washed out there and was sent as the key cog in the Freddie Garcia deal. So far, it's been one sided and not for the Sox.
The Sox run a tight, demanding, fundamentally sort of team, and, in most cases, the under performers get a role, a fresh start and good instruction. This gives them the inspiration to perform at a higher level. Let's hope that this latest batch begins to bloom soon or else it will be a long year for Sox fans.
Knight Music Dept.: Bob Knight can sometimes be very intelligent, articulate and dead on accurate. No wonder they want him at Northwestern.
Vote For My Team Dept.: Here is a breakdown of who your congressional representative may be rooting for today.
Share My Foxhole Dept.: How come Isiah Washington got sent to rehab, Tim Hardaway got sent home, Ann Coulter got sent away but General Pace has had nothing happen to him and the story has died down significantly since it broke on Monday. I guess the gay groups have no leverage with the army.
Channel Changing Dept.: Come January 1, 2008, it will no longer be your dad's Court TV. Which is okay by them because he's no the demo or the viewer they want.
Captain Obvious Dept.: Defrocked Republican power broker Tom DeLay has written a new book exposing Newt Gingrich as a fraud and a charlatan. Tom, we really didn't need a book to tell us that.
Beer Can Dept.: Miller Park in Milwaukee is a great place to enjoy a baseball game. Just don't swim there.
Fat of the Land Dept.: The President of DePauw University has given the boot to the campus chapter Delta Zeta sorority who only allegedly only wanted members that looked like super models. Janis Ian and the ghost of John Belushi applaud wildly.
Pocket Change Dept.: The CEO of Wal-Mart just got a $22 million dollar bonus. My step daughter works at Wal-Mart and makes less than eight dollars per hour. What the hell is wrong with this country?
Southern Exposure Dept.: From the state that brought you Al Gore come two new proposals for wacky laws.
The first would require a couple with children to wait a minimum of a year before they are granted a divorce. The geniuses in Tennessee think this may curb the state's divorce rate. I think it will raise the state's murder rate.
Then there is the bill that would force restaurants to make absolute sure you knew you were eating trans fats. The bill is sponsored by State Senator Doug Jackson who pjnes on about reducing health costs. Can you smell insurance lobby money boys and girls? I knew you could.
The takeaway is legislators in Tennessee think the citizens of that state aren't smart enough to tie their own shoes. Why should someone have to prolong the agony of divorce a year? That isn't anyone's choice to make except the two people involved, kids or no kids. Do they really want the kids to grow up in a hostile environment?
And, if I want to eat trans fats and shut my arteries down, again, it's my choice. I get to choose what I eat and i don't need to be told what is good or what is bad. If I like it, I'll eat it no matter what you think.
It really annoys me when elected officials don't stick to what they should which is a) building roads and b) protecting citizens from criminals/invaders. Outside of that, I can handle my own life. And whatever I decide, it's my call and not yours.
Hopefully, voters in Tennessee will decide that the sponsors of these useless bills need to go away.
Hands Up Dept.: Kenny Williams is like the Fairy Godmother in Cinderella. He chooses his target, sprinkles some magic dust and POOF! a player considered a risk or on the down side of their career suddenly springs back to life and has a productive season. Sometimes, the spell lasts a while (Orlando Hernandez, AJ Pierzynski, Jermaine Dye) sometimes it wears off quickly (Cliff Polite, Neil Cotts, Scott Podsednik) and sometimes it doesn't take at all (Billy Koch, Scott Schoeneweis, Willie Harris).
Kenny Williams is beginning to discover that other teams know his M.O. and are introducing him to their best reclamation projects. Kenny, like Bob Vila, never met a challenge he didn't think he could overcome. So he deals prime beef for a hand full of magic beans, convinced that with a little water, a little air and a little love, there will be beanstalks a plenty on the South Side. Based on spring training so far, this may be a bad year for beanstalks.
Two of Williams new acquisitions, Andrew Sisco and Gavin Floyd appear to be head cases. Why else would Williams chew out Sisco yesterday? Floyd, practically handed the fifth starter role, has faltered mightily, just like he did in Philadelphia. According to his catcher Pierzynski "He worries too much about his mechanics and that sort of thing." Heck, the Sox already have a pitcher like that: Jon Garland. And Floyd is no Garland, but may be replacing Garland next year.
Sisco, acquired from Kansas City, was a castoff from the Cubs organization. As badly as the Cubs have needed pitching the last couple of years, don't you think Sisco, a lefty, would have been able to find a spot if he had any command of his pitches at all? This guy is a left handed Rick Vaughn.
Floyd, who was supposed to be a big part of the Phillies for years to come, totally washed out there and was sent as the key cog in the Freddie Garcia deal. So far, it's been one sided and not for the Sox.
The Sox run a tight, demanding, fundamentally sort of team, and, in most cases, the under performers get a role, a fresh start and good instruction. This gives them the inspiration to perform at a higher level. Let's hope that this latest batch begins to bloom soon or else it will be a long year for Sox fans.
Knight Music Dept.: Bob Knight can sometimes be very intelligent, articulate and dead on accurate. No wonder they want him at Northwestern.
Vote For My Team Dept.: Here is a breakdown of who your congressional representative may be rooting for today.
Share My Foxhole Dept.: How come Isiah Washington got sent to rehab, Tim Hardaway got sent home, Ann Coulter got sent away but General Pace has had nothing happen to him and the story has died down significantly since it broke on Monday. I guess the gay groups have no leverage with the army.
Channel Changing Dept.: Come January 1, 2008, it will no longer be your dad's Court TV. Which is okay by them because he's no the demo or the viewer they want.
Captain Obvious Dept.: Defrocked Republican power broker Tom DeLay has written a new book exposing Newt Gingrich as a fraud and a charlatan. Tom, we really didn't need a book to tell us that.
Beer Can Dept.: Miller Park in Milwaukee is a great place to enjoy a baseball game. Just don't swim there.
Fat of the Land Dept.: The President of DePauw University has given the boot to the campus chapter Delta Zeta sorority who only allegedly only wanted members that looked like super models. Janis Ian and the ghost of John Belushi applaud wildly.
Pocket Change Dept.: The CEO of Wal-Mart just got a $22 million dollar bonus. My step daughter works at Wal-Mart and makes less than eight dollars per hour. What the hell is wrong with this country?
Southern Exposure Dept.: From the state that brought you Al Gore come two new proposals for wacky laws.
The first would require a couple with children to wait a minimum of a year before they are granted a divorce. The geniuses in Tennessee think this may curb the state's divorce rate. I think it will raise the state's murder rate.
Then there is the bill that would force restaurants to make absolute sure you knew you were eating trans fats. The bill is sponsored by State Senator Doug Jackson who pjnes on about reducing health costs. Can you smell insurance lobby money boys and girls? I knew you could.
The takeaway is legislators in Tennessee think the citizens of that state aren't smart enough to tie their own shoes. Why should someone have to prolong the agony of divorce a year? That isn't anyone's choice to make except the two people involved, kids or no kids. Do they really want the kids to grow up in a hostile environment?
And, if I want to eat trans fats and shut my arteries down, again, it's my choice. I get to choose what I eat and i don't need to be told what is good or what is bad. If I like it, I'll eat it no matter what you think.
It really annoys me when elected officials don't stick to what they should which is a) building roads and b) protecting citizens from criminals/invaders. Outside of that, I can handle my own life. And whatever I decide, it's my call and not yours.
Hopefully, voters in Tennessee will decide that the sponsors of these useless bills need to go away.
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