One of the joys (and the curses) of subscribing to MLB Extra Innings (on cable, thank-you again John Kerry) is sometimes you get your hometown announcers and sometimes you get the other guys.  In having to watch  games delivered by these other crews , you get a real opportunity to hear what's out there.  I , for one, am not impressed.

The two worst I've encountered (so far) are Kansas City and  Pittsburgh whose announcing crews literally put me to sleep.  In fact, last week, when the Sox played the Royals, I nodded off at least three times during the game.  Pittsburgh was just dull and Steve Blass, the analyst, in a game against the 2007 Cubs, kept flashing back to the old days with the Cubs naming most of the '69 team (hey Steve, you left out Al Spangler.)

Tonight, I listened to Dave Sims and Mike Blowers deliver the Seattle game.  Where the heck was Dave Niehaus and Rick Rizzs?  Sims never found a rhythm and constantly tripped over his own tongue. BRUTAL. I've heard better announcers at Triple A (yes, Steve Selby, I mean you.) 

Last night, I watched the ESPN broadcast of the Cardinals-Brewers game.  Dave O'Brien was so somber and so depressing about the Josh Hancock situation, I started looking around for anti-depressants or kitchen knives.  O'Brien is the epitome of the guy with the great pipes that is a guy with great pipes.  In other words, he's the broadcast equivalent of a pitcher who can throw 97 miles an hour and doesn't care where it goes.

Some other crews I've heard include the Braves (big Skip fan, big Joe fan, Chip is a disappointment.  He totally misuses his voice and lacks sincerity); The Red Sox (Jerry Remy is awesome); The Angels (Steve Physioc is similar to Dave O'Brien and Rex Hudler needs to put down the hookah pipe); The Nationals (Bob Carpenter was much better with the Cardinals, Don Sutton is a smug bastage, but he is very, very insightful); The Orioles (Gary Thorne is a pro, Jim Palmer is the Caucasian version of Joe Morgan); The Tigers (Super Mario is an empty suit and Rod Higgins is awful); The Indians (Their homers, but they are good homers); The Twinkees (Burt Blylevin is entertaining); The Dodgers (Vin Scully is supreme); The D-Backs (Darin Sutton gets better every year and Mark Grace is pure entertainment); The Rangers (I like Josh Lewin. He's smart and informative); The Brewers (turn down the TV and listen to Uecker); and of course the Cubs (I like Brenley) and the White Sox (DJ absolutely sucks, but Hawk is da man.  The catch phrases alone make putting up with his pouting worth it.)

For the record, my favorites include John Miller, John Sterling, Dave Niehaus and John Rooney.  All-time favorites include Harry Caray (before the stroke and before the Cubs), Jack Brickhouse, Curt Gowdy (understated but the man knew how to call a game) and my all-time favorite Jack Buck.  Jack Buck was the absolute best.

Overall, I'm not really impressed with most of the baseball announcers on TV.  I like the older, more established guys who learned their craft in radio. 

Lightning Round:

• You have to seriously wonder about the Chicago White Sox.  First, manager Ozzie Guillen sits down Darin Erstad who is finally hitting the ball.  He replaces him in the lineup with Luis Terrero (see below) who actually does okay (home run, great throw from center field), but then is pinch hit for by Erstad in the seventh who struck out.  The Sox got to within 3-2 and had two on, two out in the top of the eighth when Jermaine Dye on a 3-2 count took strike three rather than protect the plate.  The Mariners scored two in the bottom of the eighth to salt it away as once again Matt Thornton gave up a big hit.  The Sox once again wasted a quality start from Javy Vasquez.  The same two teams engage in a rescheduled afternoon game Wednesday in Seattle.
• In the chase for Lord Stanley's Cup, the Rangers tied up the Sabres at two apiece in their series.  The Sabres really looked confused until the last two or three minutes of the game and threw everything but the kitchen sink at Rangers goalie Henrik Lundquist.  With 16 seconds left, Lundqvist made an unbelievable pad save that was reviewed for a possible goal.  Although the replay showed that it might have been a goal, it did not do so conclusively, therefore it was waived off.   In the evening's other game, Vancouver played great hockey for 48 minutes. Unfortunately, a hockey game is sixty minutes long.  Anaheim tied things up late in the game and scored two minutes into overtime and beat the Canucks 3-2, taking a commanding 3 games to 1 lead in their series.  Get out the forks, because Vancouver is done.   Wednesday night, Detroit welcomes back Thomas Holmstrom  as they try to tie their series with the Sharks  and New Jersey attempts to pull even with Ottawa just as employees go on strike at the Sens rink.
  
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• Outfielder Luis Terrero becomes the new Sox guy at the end of the bench.
  
• One of the most enduring personalities in all of baseball lore is Don "Popeye" Zimmer, who has several claims to fame including having a steel plate in his head, taking the Red Sox to the 1978 playoffs and losing on Bucky Dent's home run, taking the 1989 Cubs to the playoffs and losing to the Giants and being Joe Torre's gruff but lovable sidekick on the New York Yankees bench for ten years.  Recently, someone asked Don Zimmer what the Yankees should do about their problems.  His solution?  Launch the GM. Even when the Yankees do win, it's bad news.
  
• I can't stand Rich Eisen.  I think he is an assclown of the highest magnitude.  And now, Mr. Eisen has compounded his misery by being busted by his wife for having received bikini clad pictures from a Philadelphia sports reporter to a joint e-mail account.  Eisen has broken so many man laws it isn't funny.  Man laws like "No man shall EVER share an e-mail account with his wife." And, "All men's e-mail must be password protected to keep estrogen laden eyes from spying."  Believe me, Rich Eisen is a friendly reminder that one small slip is going to cost you several months of sleeping on the couch.  Been there, done that and I proudly wear the t-shirt.
• Sidney Crosby, Marty Brodeur and Roberto Luongo are the three finalists for the Hart trophy, the NHL's award for being league MVP.  Crosby will win because the league needs him to.
• Speaking of the NHL, the worst commissioner in pro sports appears cranky and has penal envy issues with Roger Goodell.
• What would you rather have: An infielder that went AWOL or an infielder you wish would go AWOL?  One of my broadcast friends told me that Wilson Betemit was a can't miss prospect.  That's why we're broadcasters and not scouts.
• Phoenix has narrowed their list to nine to find out who will lead the league in uttering the phrase "yes, Wayne."
• The fan that flashed the light in the eyes of Atlanta Braves players has been banned from Shea Stadium for three years.  Time to become a Yankee fan!
• Talladega Super Speedway has banned fourteen fans for life for throwing debris at Jeff Gordon following Gordon's victory Sunday in the Aaron's 499.  Hopefully, this sends a message to other people about how stupid that is.
  
• Good evening, you are looking live at Berkley California, where tonight ABC brings you the 2007 college football opener.
  
• Lou Dobbs used a Nazi metaphor in describing those who hide illegal immigrants.  Now a Jewish group wants him fired.  Why? Apparently, you can no longer mention that Nazis ever existed.  Dobbs' comments weren't aimed at Jews nor did he mention Jews.  So, let's review.  When a TV or radio personality says something that someone else finds mildly offensive, they protest to get the person fired because they think they should not have said it. This Pandora's box a service of CBS.
• Tom Poston, who played unforgettable characters like handy man George Utley on "Newhart" is dead at the age of 85.  Poston usually played clueless people but was a genius at doing so. 
  
• Parents, do you know what your kids are doing on their PCs?  If you don't, it's nobody's fault other than your own as to what happens to them.
• Castro fails to appear in public during the May Day celebration.  Dick Chaney wants to attack Cuba now.
• Presidential candidates were asked what they would do if they weren't running for president or involved in politics.  Some of their answers are pretty funny.
• A man testifies in court he was attacked and beaten by seven lesbians.  Yup, those girls got some pretty good licks in.
  
• Here's some pretty scary home footage of the Bay Bridge fire the other day