The bald guy has a lot on his plate right now, so he asked me to fill in this morning.  Seeing as how the White Sox are playing like dogs anyway, I am a qualified spokesperson.

So, that loud sound you heard last night coming from the north was the wheels falling off.  The starting pitching that has been so good the last few weeks for the Sox has begun to implode under the weight of carrying the team.  The hitting is still better but still one shade better than mediocre.  The bullpen is pitching like the stuff I leave in the bald guy's basement. 

In one dog's opinion, this team needs to get it together now before things get any more out of hand.  The Tigers and Indians aren't going to wait forever, and as it has been every year since 2005, the Sox are losing a critical series to the Twins from which they never recover.  It sucks to be a Sox fan right now.  Not as much as it does to be a Cub fan, but if both teams are losers, who cares?

I'm just a little white poo dog, so I have no clue what Ozzie Guillen needs to do to put a boot up this team's ass and get them going in the right direction.  He's begged, he's pleaded, he's threatened, (you know all the things the bald guy does to try and keep me from pissing on the carpet.) And, like the bald guy, none of them have worked.  It's frustrating. And it's going on again this afternoon.

Seriously, if these losers don't have a decent June, a lot of the names you know and love will be wearing different uniforms come August.  Jerry Reiinsdorf won't stand for a $100 million payroll and a fourth place finish (now there's a guy I'd like to raise my leg on and ruin his loafers.)

I hate being so negative, but I'd be a lying dog if I said anything different.  Sorry.

Doggie Doo (Like it?  Thought of it myself!)

• Game two of the Stanley Cup finals is tonight. Ottawa needs to get it in gear.  Meanwhile, the Canadians hate Americans.

• Roger Clemens may tote his lard butt out of hiatis at the Cell Monday night.  Hopefully, the Sox will dump all over him.

• Right Said Fred

• Look! Someone who works for a news organization with ethics.  That's like a dog that doesn't lick his nuts (you know why we lick our nuts, don't you?  Because we can!)
• This is how I roll, baby.  And no, it's not me, just my stunt double.