White Sox Falling Like Rosie O'Donnell In A Vat Of Chocolate Pudding
How in the hell do you blow a five run lead to a division rival in a game that is the difference between being swept and at least picking up one game? Why is it year after year after year, the White Sox get out pitched, out hustled and out executed by the Minnesota Twins and players like Nick Freakin' Punto? For crying out loud, the Sox have Paul Konerko, Jermaine Dye, Jim Thome, A.J. Pierzynski, Darin Erstad et. al. And sure, they're frustrated. But so are White Sox fans who cannot figure out how a team with this much talent is this crappy.
There isn't a whole lot Ozzie can do. Seriously. He can retool the bullpen and send MacDougal and Aardsma to Charlotte (or better yet, Tampa Bay), but as far as the rest is concerned, he has no latitude. They are, what they are.
At 24-24 and losing ground to the Indians, Tigers and Twinkies this week, the time is NOW to get the collective asses in gear and go on a tear. And, if June is like May, you might as well invite Rosie to sing the national anthem, so that Jerry can raise the White Flag. And I'll even help him unfold the damn thing.
The pitching held the barbarians at the gate, but now the starters are not performing the way they did earlier (which was inevitable.) The mantra was "we'll start hitting soon", but that hasn't happened yet. And the bullpen has gaping holes in it. Yet, this is what the Sox have to deal with. And if all things continue this way, the Sox will finish where we said they would in fourth place.
The Titanic has hit the iceberg and if they don't right the ship soon, the whole thing is going to get washed overboard and the Chairman will divest immediately, forcing the Sox back to where they were in 1986 and 1998: With a bunch of rookies and spare parts. Arrgh. On to Toronto.
Lightning Round
- The only light in the tunnel for the White Sox is the fact the Cubs are far more horrible. So horrible that they had a players only meeting last night prior to their 9-0 loss to Florida. Guess that worked out well. And, while the players were meeting with each other, Lou Piniella was huddled with Jim Hendry and John McDonough.
- In the chase for Lord Stanley's cup, if you missed last night's game two between Ottawa and Anaheim, you missed one battle royale. Physical play, outstanding goal tending and great defense made the Ducks 1-0 victory one fantastic game. Ottawa is being stymied by the suffocating defense of the Ducks. In the first period, the Sens had a 5 on 3 for about a minute and a half, and did everything EXCEPT put the puck in the net. Bodies were flying everywhere, sticks were flying, it was just spellbinding. That's why we love hockey. And that's why I'm one of three people still watching it.
- This would actually be good if the White Sox could use it to their advantage.
- The Brewers descent into darkeness continues. I have no problem with picking up Darick Turnbow in Milwaukee, picking up Mike MacDougal and David Aardsma in Chicago and driving them all to the bus station. I'll even buy the gas.
- I don't know what happened here, but it can't be good if Bob Harlan is turning against his hand-picked successor. They say it was John Jones' management skills that shot him out of the saddle shortly before his ride was to begin. In Wisconsin, they are trying to figure what that is code for. At least the Packers were smart enough to recognize that someone's management style was counter productive BEFORE he got the big chair. Some organizations are blind to this.
- Hey, look. Gene Upshaw is actually doing something.
- I love how Billy Donovan says "he's not aware of any interest by the Orlando Magic." Just like he wasn't aware of any interest by Kentucky. Billy, just say you don't want the job and move on. And, if you are using it to lever an even bigger raise, tell Jeremy Foley that so he can recruit a replacement. This whole Sargent Schultz act is getting really old really fast.
- Mark Ivoroni, please step up to the gallows, you're next.
- Coach Satan shouldn't be so smug about NCAA accusations at Alabama. With their past record the last seven years (hey, hey, hey, it's Fat Albert), they are on the NCAA watch list and any kind of impropriety could get them in severe hot water. Even mighty Alabama isn't immune to the "death penalty".
- Mark Cuban wants to start football's version of the 6-4 and under league. I'm sure ESPN would love to air the games between "The World's Strongest Man" and "Championship Poler." But hurry before you have too many MLS games to bump.
- Selecting the first round pick for your Chicago White Sox, Chet Lemon. And only because Eric Soderholm had a dentist appointment that day and Oscar Gamble had to take his cat to the vet.
- There will be some cast changes for the 18th season of Law & Order. And yes, that's why.
- The slow decent into shame continues for Isaiah Washington, now performing public service announcements for GLADD. Washington's filmed message, stemmed from
threats to sponsors and potential loss of network incomea January meeting with officials from the Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network, GLSEN, and the Gay & Lesbian
Alliance Against Defamation, GLAAD. - If you are in the same boat as I am, getting Googled could cost you a gig.
- CHIPSHOTS EXCLUSIVE: Footage of my step-daughter's first driving lesson. Unlike her, it's not very pretty.
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