Another day, another downer for the Chicago White Sox who seem to have less life on the field then the entire cast of "Dawn of the Dead."

If this was Star Trek, you'd be hearing somebody in a red shirt yelling "all systems failure Captain!" as the Enterprise careened into a planet.  The starting pitching is getting weaker.  There are way too many two out hits and runs being given out.  The hitting is as milk toast as it has been all season.  The defense is springing leaks and now injuries are mounting.  It's become 1985 all over again.

You are in a game last night against a team that is lower in the standings then the frigging Pirates, has a star player tossed out of the game and you still can't take advantage of it.  A player that comes in as an injury substitution gets two hits including the winning one.  Hello?  Is there anyone in that dugout that's paying attention?

The manager says he's "embarrassed" and that he's sure that White Sox fans are not very proud of their team right now.  Give that man one of Jerry Reinsdorf's cigars.

How do you fix it?  You can't.  The kids that have been brought up to fill in (Owens, Fields, Sweeny) are not ready to hit at the major league level.  The pitchers brought up to bolster the sagging bullpen (with the exception of Dewon Day) are not ready to pitch for the Royals, let alone the Sox.  How do you turn around guys like Konerko and Dye?  You really can't until they break out of it.  Then, as we've seen, there is no guarantee that they will break out of it at the same time.

The only hope that you have is that you get everybody healthy, get all your starters back and make a second half run, provided somebody besides Bobby Jenks can come in and get people out in relief.  Outside of that, it's going to be a long, painful season for Sox fans if the current trend holds until October.

Lightning Round

• Shhh.  Don't look now, but here come the Cubs.
• Joel Zumaya may be out for the year.  Joe Mauer is just coming back.  All of this information would be important if the White Sox were, I don't know, competitive.
• Before you laugh, remember that the Dodgers once drafted Tommy Lasorda's nephew in the 62nd round of the 1988 draft.  His name was Mike Piazza.
• Memo to Nashville: A year ago nobody thought that this could happen, so hang in there. And some sports actually have commissioners who want their teams to stay where they are rather than be "intrigued" about them moving.  (Write down the date and time because it may be another 10 years before I say something positive about David Stern again.)
  
• Kurt Bush gets a hard wrist slap for being an assclown.  He should have been parked for two weeks.  On Sunday, he'll be watching the back end of Ryan Newman's car as it leads the field at Pocono.  Viewer warning: TNT starts their coverage this weekend.  They won't come close to being as good as Fox. 
• Even though this story is completely imaginary, this is so NBA.
• Tony LaRussa, what is the secret to your team's success?  Reassembling the 2002 Anaheim Angels.
• UConn and Tennessee end their annual regular season hoops series rather than continue to provide a showcase for the country's two best programs.
• Our friends at "Bugs & Cranks" salute those wrongly excluded by the baseball hall of fame.  Including their poster child, Ron Santo.
  
• I love this headline: "Brownback to compete in Iowa straw poll"  To be accurate, it should say "Brownback to participate in Iowa straw poll" because the only straw poll that Sam Brownback is going to compete in is the "who's going to be first guy to drop out" straw poll.
• Fred Thompson gains strength in the Florida polls and attracts both dangling and hanging chads to his web site.  Here's an idiot who thinks Thompson sounds too southern.  I got news for you, Fred's voice is one of his biggest strengths as it is soothing and commanding.  Think about why you liked Ronald Reagan.
• The Decider meets with the Pope.  Oh to be a fly on the wall for that one.
• Looks like people have decided that $5.50 is too much to pay for coffee.  Duh.
• You know how some people have said "You'll have to take me to jail kicking and screaming?" Meet Paris Hilton.
• A fifteen year old is set to graduate with a degree at Ohio State University, becoming the youngest student ever to earn a degree from that institution. In honor of this unbelievable accomplishment, his mother has fixed him up a room in her basement.