Good morning, world.  It's me, the bald guy's humble assistant.  The bald guy is still hung over from celebrating the Mark Buehrle signing, so he sort of mumbled while I was licking his face this morning trying to wake him up that perhaps I should "write the f(^&ing thing."  So, here goes my best attempt at dogging it.

If you were to ask the bald guy (but not right now, trust me) he would tell you that he has five favorite all-star games.  Although I'm new to the family, I've been told that the bald guy doesn't usually watch the all-star game as he finds it dull.  But there were a few that he watched that he even enjoyed.  Here is his top five:

5. 2006 AL 3 NL 2   Ozzie Represents
The only thing about this game the bald guy cared about was that there was a White Sox manager in the dugout managing the all-star team for the first time in his lifetime.  He shut the game off after the player introductions.  And wept.  For days. Who does he think he is, Urlacher's pup?

4. 2003 AL 7 NL 6  Hank You Very Much
The AL beats the NL at US Commiskey Park on a pinch single by Hank Blaylock.

3. 1971 AL 6 NL 4   I Think That One Landed in Ishpeming
The highlight of this game, besides the rare AL victory was a Reggie Jackson moonshot that hit the light tower at Tiger stadium.  And, no steroids!   Take that, Sammy Sosa!

2. 1983 AL 13  NL 3  Right Said  Fred
If you are younger than 35, you have to understand when the bald guy was growing up, the AL was the NL's bitch.  I mean bad.  I mean every year.  In fact, when the bald guy was growing up in the 70's, the AL won a grand total of once.  But in 1983, the AL took out some of the frustration on the NL when Fred Lynn hit a grand slam off of Atlee Hammaker at the real Commiskey Park.  In fact, Lynn's salami had such an effect on Hammaker, he never pitched well again.  The AL put up 7 runs in the bottom of the third and never looked back.  And, since that game the AL started a string of dominance that totally turned the tables on the series, going 16-6 since that mark and not having lost a game in this decade.

1. 1970  NL 5 AL 4 (12 Innings) Every Rose Has Its Thorns
This is the famous game which was tied up by Roberto Clemente (one of the bald guy's all-time favorite players) and went to free baseball.  In the bottom of the 12th, with two on, Jimmy Hickman hit a duck snort to centerfield.  Amos Otis charged the ball and made a strong, on-line throw to catcher Ray Fosse who was then knocked across the Ohio river into Kentucky by Pete Rose.  Fosse separated his shoulder on the play, and medical science being what it was back then (okay, not stone age but no MRIs, no lasers, etc.) the injury permanently hindered Fosse's ability to throw.  In fact, the last nine years he played he threw like Michael Barrett with a sore arm.

Just a couple of quick things because there is a bush outside screaming my name:

• Dan Patrick is leaving ESPN to do something else.  What's all the crying about?  If anything, ESPN will lose ad revenue, not ratings points.  I'm a dog and I know that.
• How about two-thirds of the bald guy's dream outfield: Carl Crawford in left and Torrie Hunter in center.  Kenny, make it happen.
• The bald guy liked "The Bronx is Burning" simply because he was alive when it actually happened.  Yes, they are playing King George as a cartoon character, but he deserves it.  John Turturro has Billy Martin pegged down to the jug ears and Franco from "Rescue Me" is so-so as Reggie (Reggie, by the way is an ass and I would not hesitate to leave him a log the size of Cleveland on his carpet.)
• Former White Sox third baseman Joe Crede is beginning his rehab in Arizona, according to his agent Scott (Greed is Good) Boras.  What Scotty doesn't understand is his client has been rendered moot in Chicago by Josh Fields and will have to earn a one year, low money deal with some other club to prove he is better.  No way the Sox touch him again.

Alright, I need to trot outside and conduct important dog business.  Enjoy the all-star game!  I mean, after all, these are the dog days of summer.