Random Thoughts: Exactly How Many Noses Does Aaron Rowand Have?
Random thoughts on the only day of the year a major league (MLB, NBA, NFL or NHL) doesn't have something going on:
- Best line during the all-star game came when Aaron Rowand came to bat for the first time. Fox showed the clip of him running into the wall making a catch last year in Philadelphia. When discussing the multiple injuries Rowand suffered as a result of the catch, Tim McCarver said "He broke a nose." Really, Tim? And how many noses does Aaron Rowand have?
- Memo to Paula Cole: It's ironic that a person who had a huge hit with a song called "I Don't Want to Wait" took four minutes to get the piano plugged in during the middle of the seventh inning. Also, you may want to purchase a sharper razor or not wear a sleeveless dress, because in HD, there was significant five o' clock pit shadow.
- Ichiro has an all-star game first and helps lead the AL to victory (again.) No wonder he's about to sign a fat, new contract with Seattle. You wonder, if talks of Ichiro re-signing with the M's is what caused former manager Mike Hargrove to jump ship, knowing that the only way Seattle was going to re-sign their star was to take Grover out. Grover may have leaped before he was pushed.
- Carl Crawford shows why he is a national secret waiting to break out (please, Kenny Williams, please trade for him. Please.)
- Once again, the genius chokes in the clutch (and torques off his best player.)
- Michael at "The Bards Room" provides you with brilliant White Sox analysis.
- Bud Selig might come see Barry Bonds hit #756 if he his surgery to install a spine is done by then. What's ironic about all of this is Selig and Hank Aaron had a relationship in Milwaukee and I have to think a lot of his reasoning not to attend is because he doesn't want to lose an old and dear friend.
- Speaking of Milwaukee, whoever was filling in on the afternoon show on the Score in Chicago on Monday is is either very uninformed or hasn't picked up a newspaper since 2002. He was talking about Selig and said "Doesn't his daughter still own the Brewers. Yes, she does." No, she does not. Mark Attanasio owns the Brewers and has for close to four years. Another moment where I scratch my head and wonder why I'm the guy that can't find a job because it certainly isn't about either talent or show prep anymore.
- Irrefutable proof that the Bears were correct in dumping Tank Johnson.
- No Maas at Fox no mas.
- It appears employee #8 met Smith and Wesson #38.
- J.T. O'Sullivan is about to be signed by the Lions to interpret the Bears offensive signals.
- From "Loser with Socks": Is Erin Andrews really Trev Alberts in drag?
- Wal-Mart thinks that dressing their employees in preppy clothes will make it less of a one stop white trash shop. In the south, they call it putting lipstick on a pig.
- A California lawmaker is proposing an eight percent tax on porn. If you can define porn, you've already done better than the U.S. Supreme Court and the FCC.
- A Louisiana Senator tries to explain why his number was found among those held by the DC Madame. Oh yes, he's a Republican, too, you know the self-proclaimed party of virtue in America.
- A Welsh man, now living in Canada, flew home for a wedding. The problem was, he was a year early. Perhaps calling or e-mailing ahead of time might save you future embarrassment.
- A new study suggests the older you get the less you understand humor. This is bullcookies.
- In an effort to get Dick Chaney to talk, a Senate committee hasl voted to cut off funding to the vice-president's office until he tells Congress what they want to know. In preparation for this, Chaney has ordered his office manager to push the "easy button" with both hands.
- The USS McCain has hit the iceberg and is beginning to take on water.
- Valerie Bertinelli is writing a memoir. Mmmm, Valerie.
- A new play is about to hit the New York stage featuring everyone's favorite annoying detective:(click and roll mouse over blank for spoiler)Colombo. Who did you think I was going to say, Jessica Fletcher?
- Robert F. Kennedy Junior, used a curious term to describe radio hosts Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, and Glenn Beck. He called them lying “Flat Earthers.” Have you been into your Uncle Teddy's stash again, young man?
- The crazy diaper astronaut was only trying to get the record straight when she attacked the woman in the airport. That's all. One small step for her, one giant can of pepper spray for the other chick.
- NASCAR fans are about to become cokesuckers.
- In honor of the new "Transformers" movie, Maxim shares the crappiest movie robots of all time.
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