You are cruising along with your most effective pitcher on the mound.  You stake him to a 5-1 lead.  He begins to tire early and gives up a solo home run and a two run home run making the score 5-4.  In the seventh, you go to your bullpen.  In your half of the eighth, you score an insurance run and expand your lead to 6-4. In the eighth, a sure out is botched by your backup second baseman, forcing you to bring your all-star closer in an inning earlier than you would like.  He pitches his way out of a jam, but in the bottom of the ninth, he gives up a run scoring single then throws a wild pitch and the game is tied at 6.  In the bottom of the tenth, the only pitcher you have left, a rookie knuckleballer,  gives up a lead off single to a speedy player who steals second and advances to third on a fly ball.  With two outs, a left handed hitter takes one between short and third and you lose the game 7-6. To a team that was 1-43 when trailing after eight innings. Sound familiar Ozzie Guillen?  Welcome to White Sox baseball 2007: The kids can't pitch.

Everything you ever wanted to know about this year's edition of the Chicago White Sox was on display in Baltimore last night.  There was a decent starting effort by Javy Vazquez.  There was a wasted opportunity to bow the game open in the top of the seventh with two on, none out and Jermaine Dye at the plate.  The 2005 or 2006 edition of Jermaine Dye would have hit at least a double, the 2007 edition hit into a double play. There was the poor hitting of Luis Terrero, who is a lot of things, but Timo Perez isn't one of them.  The poor defense of Alex Cintron, whose error forced Bobby Jenks into the game early, something he's never really been good at.  There was  Jenks, throwing way below his 2005 radar speed of 96-100, coughing up yet another victory, blowing the save.
 
And there was Ozzie, playing musical matchups with his bullpen, trying desperately to hang on by his fingernails, only to be punted in the end by a guy whose last name sounds like some Greek dessert.  Yes, I'll have a cup of coffee and how is your Markakis today?

It makes you want to scream and pull your hair out.  It made Hawk so mad last night he couldn't talk (which, when you think about it, is not such a bad thing.)  And it makes you realize, that despite the rosey numbers being thrown out by broadcasters like Ed Farmer (if we can get to eight out by August 5th, we're in this thing)  this team is so done it isn't funny.  And, what baseball fan wants their team to be done on July 15th (although for the Royals and Devil Rays, that would actually be an improvement.)

So, how do we fix a badly broken team and get them competitive for 2008?  Here's what I would do if I were running the Sox:

• Trade Jose Contreras, Juan Uribe and Jermaine Dye for some potential bullpen help.  Don't worry about position players right now, you need to stock the minors with some kids that can actually come in and pitch.  And with Dye pouting right now, he's already mentally checked out, so there is no reason to keep him around.
• If Contreras does get traded, give either Adam Russell or Gio Gonzalez a whack at it.  Best case: They pitch like John Danks.  Worst case: The y pitch like Gavin Floyd.  Doomsday: They pitch like Arnie Munoz.
  
• Give Ryan Sweeney the opportunity to play everyday the rest of the year and see what he can do. Same for Jerry Owens in center.  Same for Andy Gonzalez at his natural position, shortstop. You won't know unless they get the ABs.
  
• In free agency, find a power hitting, fairly fast right fielder with a good arm.  The Sox have always been able to pull someone like this off the scrap pile be it Ellis Burks, Darrin Jackson or Jermaine Dye.  Make sure the guy can run, because you will have to sandwich him in the line-up between the speed challenged Jim Thome and Paul Konerko.
  
• Make Josh Fields take infield everyday and teach him to move to his right. If he can be half as successful as Joe Crede was turning doubles into singles, this will help the pitching staff a lot.
• Revisit signing Aaron Rowand as a free agent.  Why?  He's a "second tier" free agent who will most likely discount a chance to come back to Chicago.  In Rowand, you get a fearless centerfielder, a bulldog at the plate and the perfect number two hitter to replace the departing Tad Iguchi.  This isn't sentiment, kids, this is need.
• If you are convinced that Bobby Jenks can't throw between 97-100 again, find a new closer.
• Resist any temptation to make Pablo Ozuna a regular.
  
• Thank Darrin Erstad, Scott Podsednik, Luis Terrero, Alex Cintron, and Tad Iguchi for playing and hand them their lovely parting gifts.
• See if someone will give you a bag of baseballs for Mike MacDougal, David Aardsma and Andrew Sisco.
• If you want to do something spectacular to help the team, his name is Carl Crawford.

Just some thoughts.  Because the fat lady has sung.

Lightning Round

• Shhh, don't look now, but here come the Cubs.  And now, since they are three games above .500 for the first time since May of last year, here come the band wagon jumpers.
• The Brewers hang on to win in extra innings despite yet another injury to fragile ace Ben Sheets.
• Newsweek takes dead on a swipe at the worldwide leader.  The Big Lead, one of Butkus' recommended sites gets a mention.  Congrats, guys.
• I have a picture on the wall here in my office of the great Bobby Hull.  Hull had just been in a fight, his jaw broken and blood is spattered all over his white Blackhawk sweater.  Hull didn't fight very often, but when he did, he usually had his way with whomever was on the other end.  But not this time.  Bobby Hull had just gone three rounds and lost to the poster child for the phrase "goon with skills" John Ferguson, who passed away yesterday at the age of 68.  For those of you who weren't around in the seventies, think Claude Lemieux on steroids.
  
• Darryl Strawberry defends Joe Torre against charges by both Gary Sheffield and Kenny Lofton that Torre treats black players differently.  With the amount of coke he's done over the years, how many brain cells does Darryl have left that can actually remember that far back?
• Alabama football fans have to hurry before it is the last straw.
• At 84, Larry Munson, one of the most compelling voices in the SEC, will be cutting back his schedule to call only home Georgia games.  If you've never heard guys like Larry Munson or John Ward, you've missed the last of a dying (literally) breed.
• Jim Gilmore pulling out of the presidential race is like the guy that jogs four miles everyday and enters the Boston Marathon pulling out after six miles.  He wasn't expected to really compete and no one really cares that he's leaving.
• It's been quite a month for Al Gore.  First his son gets busted, then his daughter gets married.
• BREAKING NEWS FROM BUTKUS D. DOGG: A posh New York dog spa has a dog drown on it's watch.  This could be very interesting as obviously when you spend that kind of jack to send your dog to a spa, you no doubt can afford some really, really nasty lawyers.  I've told the bald guy that I have no interest in going to a pet spa and he should save the money and put it toward better dog food.  This low budget junk they feed me really binds me up.  Back to you, bald guy.
• Reason #423 for not using public restrooms: Toilet paper limit.
• Tony Parker has been inducted into the French Legion of Honour. You win awards like that when you bag a babe like Eva Longoria.
• Steven Seagal is suing his former law firm for overcharging him with lawyer fees.  This suit is being handled by different lawyers who will no doubt over charge Seagal legal fees.  Hey, Stevie.  Why don't you just cut out the middle man, go to the first law firm and go "Above the Law" on them.  You know you want to.
• Boy, talk about your tough crowd.
• A construction worker is in deep bird doo after dropping rocks off the top of building at a beloved neighborhood mascot.
• Here's why your final four office pool is always won by the person that knows the least about basketball.  No bias, no knowledge.
• At least of Ozzie Guillen and A.J. Pierzynski, they have second careers if this baseball thing continues to go south.