As the bald guy told you this morning, we've had some internet problems here.  I think it may have been the cable company, but based on the amount of profanity I've heard out of the bald guy, it may be something else.  From what I can tell, either he thinks someone sent the step- teen a Trojan or he thinks the step-teen's daddy should have worn a Trojan.  Actually, I think he believes both, the latter for sure.

Last week I was 9-1 and would have been perfect if the Eagles special team wasn't that stuff I leave in the basement.  I wanted to find Walrus Junior and lift my leg on him after that performance.

Here's what I have for this week.  Remember, five college, five pro, straight up.

College

• Notre Dame vs. Michigan: A month ago this looked like a pretty good game.  Now it looks like two big fish flopping around on the shore.  Michigan is the less of two evils here.
• Florida vs. Tennessee: Urban and the boys will again administer their yearly butt kicking of Phillip Fulmer and the Vols. Tennessee has injury problems and may or may not be able to get the offense moving against a reformulated Florida defense that lost eight starters.  The thing about Florida is their eight backups from last year who are now starting are better than your starters are now. This game has been a lot less entertaining since Darth Visor left Gainesville. It's Florida in a walk.
• Arkansas vs. Alabama: This could be one of the better games of the day on a day with some pretty predictable and unsexy games.Arkansas has some injury problems and is on the road against a decent and perhaps under rated Alabama team.  The Tide has looked good against weaker opponents, but now Darren McFadden, who owns Alabama is coming to Tuscaloosa.  I know Mama is going to make me sleep on the porch when she reads this, but hog, pig sooey, take Arkansas. 
  
• Louisville vs. Kentucky: I know everyone in Lexington thinks they are going to win tomorrow night, but this is a FOOTBALL game, not a basketball game.  After last week's track meet vs. MTSU, Steve Kragthorpe will have the Cards ready. Besides, even Kentucky's defense which is supposed to be pretty good will not be able to slow down the likes of Louisville (or for that matter Florida, Georgia and South Carolina).  Louisville rules the Commonwealth by at least three scores.
• USC vs. Nebraska: This would be a great matchup...in 1975.  Two big name, big time programs with two head coaches who were run out of the NFL. USC is the second best team in the country (behind LSU) and Nebraska is not your Daddy's Nebraska and has little if any chance of pulling off an upset tomorrow in Lincoln. If Bill Callahan thought Al Davis was annoying, wait until Pete Carroll and the Trojans run all over the Huskers.  USC BIG.

Pro

• Kansas City vs. Chicago: The Bears can't run, the Bears can't pass, but they can force turnovers.  Even without Mike Brown, Kansas City has more problems at quarterback than they do.  And the Bears defense will come up with a few footballs.  Now if Rex can just not throw it away and if Ced can hang onto it and maybe get up to fifty yards this week, the Bears may taste victory. Bears by 10.
• Green Bay at NYG: The Packers offense is a bit flaky even with the elderly hillbilly at the controls, but the defense, while not in the Chargers or Bears league, is pretty good.  Eli Manning might play, but if he does will be limited to short passes while Jared Lorenzen, his left handed backup is basically the Michelin Man's illegitimate son with Rosie O'Donnell.  Or, try it this way.  If White Sox closer Bobby Jenks were left handed and played quarterback, he'd be Jared Lorenzen.  There will be no saves on Sunday. Take the Pack.
• Minnesota at Detroit: I'm going out on a limb with this one and taking the Vikings.  Even though Detroit scored at will against Oakland, I really like the Vikings ground game and their ability to run the football. Either way, someone in the NFC North will be 2-0 at the end of the weekend.
  
• Houston vs. Carolina: I'm glad the Texans had a good first week.  Week two will not be as kind as the Panthers will prevail.
  
• San Diego vs. New England: NBC will have a field day with all of the cameragate stuff.  Make sure you call Circuit City and have your Keith Olbermann V-chip installed, so the TV mutes everytime the liberal crusader opens his Alpo hole. In the end, no matter how much tape Bill Belichick has, San Diego's defense is pretty good and their offense will get on track.  Take the Chargers.