In an effort to make sure they don't make the playoffs in 2008, the Chicago White Sox re-signed spatially challenged shortstop Juan Uribe to a one year contract extension for less than the value of his club option.

"When we entered into discussions with Juan, his people wanted us to pay by the pound.  Sorry, but that's A-Rod money" Sox General Manager Kenny Williams said in a release.

Uribe aroused the ire of manager Ozzie Guillen last spring by reporting to camp overweight.  In the 2006 off season, Uribe had been involved in a situation in the Dominican where a farmer claimed Uribe pulled a gun on him.  It was later discovered to be a large turkey leg.

The move puts Uribe at shortstop through 2008, which isn't bad as long as he doesn't have to move to either his right or left.  Uribe's offensive numbers were nearly as unimpressive batting just .234 with a paltry .284 on-base percentage, 34 walks and 112 strikeouts.

"Juan has the unique ability to change the wind patterns in our ballpark.  We think that will help our sluggers", Williams said.