Sorry, I'm late for the Barry Bonds party.  Table for one, please. 

Now, in thinking about this since the story broke the other day, I did have some thoughts. My question is if I am a Federal prosecutor what do I want with Barry Bonds?  Okay, the guy may have perjured himself (but hey, that didn't stop Bill Clinton) and there may be some trumped up charges, but at the end of the day, the Feds have a big bag of nothing.

Here's what the feds want: Your United States government looks down on anyone who doesn't pay what they perceive to be their fair share of taxes.  This all started back in the days of Al Capone when they couldn't make the racketeering charges stick and had to put him away for income tax evasion.  Tax cheats got to jail, right Pete Rose?  So the feds want Barry bonds to sing about who he got "the cream" and "the clear" from and how much he paid and when did he pay it and to whom.  In exchange for his singing, Bonds will get fined but will get no jail time.

Your federal government doesn't give a damn who uses steroids or who cheats at baseball.  They care about who distributes drugs and who doesn't pay their taxes.  Bonds did not distribute drugs nor did he not pay his taxes, so the real interest in Bonds is his ability to rat out the guys that supplied him and other Major League players with steroids.  Bonds part in this is to talk.  And if he doesn't, or he still maintains he knows nothing, they can help him remember by letting him spend a few days as Bubba's cell mate.  If Bonds still pleads ignorance and arrogance, the absolute worst thing that will happen to him is to go to a country club prison somewhere. 

For all of the bloggers and TV people that want to put Bonds in an orange jumpsuit for ten years, that just isn't reality.  The feds want names, dates and numbers to make their case against BALCO stronger.  They want to know what Bonds knows.  If Bonds doesn't remember, they'll try to prove that he does.  But look, it's not like the guy burst into a hotel room in Vegas with a gun demanding his trinkets back.  Or that he was involved in an incident that left people dead.  Or even that he cracked his car up and ran away.  Bonds just didn't tell the truth, or enough of the truth.

Bonds lawyers will deal up front to get the charges either dismissed altogether or get the jail aspect off the table.  Bonds will rat, the Feds will thank him and that's the end of the story, outside of the fact that Bonds' career is probably over.

Again, for those looking for Barry Bonds doing a day of jail time, it's pretty apparent your expectations won't be met.  But for those of you that want to see the man squirm and probably never wear a baseball uniform again, congratulations, it looks like this might be your ship.

Lightning Round

• All today's game means is that Lloyd Carr may leave Michigan with a big victory.  There are way too many dominoes and not enough time for OSU to get back in the hunt.
• It's really too bad about Dennis Dixon.  Great kid, great player, now he has to have knee surgery and a long road back.  What's sad is you won't get to see him in a bowl game.  He is electrifying for sure.
• The Bears refuse to announce who their backup quarterback is...the injured Brian Griese or the healthy Kyle Orton.  If I'm Orton this situation is not necessarily a ringing endorsement.
• Cedric Benson isn't worrying about his job security.  If my backups were a guy who can only catch passes and a midget, I wouldn't be either.  Of course, I had a backup that was a midget once and he definitely affected my job security.
• Shaun Alexander is not going to be at running back for the Seahawks against the Bears on Sunday.  Luckily for the Seahawks, Cedric Benson will be playing running back for the Bears.
  
• The Braves offer Tom Glavine a job.  The problem is it is no longer 1997.
• Kenny Rogers fires Scott Boras. (I guess this is the part of the song that says "You gotta know when to run") Kenny, please call Joe Crede and advise him to do the same.
• Some great Chicago Blackhawks insight from "Tremendous Upside Potential."  Nicely played, Gordon.
• As I've been saying for months, it is officially about to become the Houston Nutt farewell tour.  Meanwhile, there is another coach people want run out of the SEC.  Nice website, boys!
• I've enjoyed many a night playing with my radio tuning in distant stations and listening to baseball games.  One of my favorites was the big 700 in Cincinnati, where I could hear Marty and Joe.  God bless and keep you, Joe.
• If a tree falls or almost falls in a forest no one cares about, does it make a sound?  Not as far as the BCS is concerned.
  
• Obviously, some people are about to take the phrase " Win one for the Gipper a little too far.