I took a break from cooking our family's Thanksgiving dinner (which I began at 5:30am this morning and served around 1pm) to check the headlines on the Internet.  It damn near ruined my day to find out that Torii Hunter was now an Angel.

An Angel?  Where in the name Gene Autry's ghost did that come from?  It looked like a two horse race between the Rangers and the White Sox, with maybe the Dodgers shoe horning in there.  But nobody thought Hunter was going to up and sign with the Angels, a team Kenny Williams has ready helped by shipping Jon Garland for Orlando Cabrera.  The Angels now have one of the best right fielders in the business in Vlad Guerrero flanked in center by Torii Hunter.  They could put me in left field and it wouldn't matter.

I would imagine as shocked and frustrated as I was, Kenny Williams turkey probably tastes like crow.  He let everyone know that Hunter was his top target.  When you do that and don't get your man, everybody else knows their second best.  If Aaron Rowand does sign with the Dodgers or re-signs with the Phillies, the hole in the Sox outfield continues to grow.  With Garland, Kenny's only legitimate bargaining chip already dispatched for a player who plays a position that wasn't nearly as critical as the holes in left or center, the Sox may be looking at starting the season with Josh Fields in left and Jerry Owens in center.  This would be great if I was a fan of the Charlotte Knights, but it is not because I am a fan of the Chicago White Sox.  Owens is average, especially at the plate and Fields has never played left field over an extended period of time. 

In a division with Cleveland, Detroit, Minnesota and the emerging Royals, you won't even get a sniff of the top of the pack unless you have at least two major league caliber outfielders.  In a league with Boston, the Yankees and the Angels, you won't get close to winning anything without at least three major league caliber outfielders.  And while the Angels now boast Hunter and Guerrero, the Sox are starting to resemble Kansas City or Tampa more than Boston or Cleveland.

Kenny, I'm going to say it again: CARL CRAWFORD WILL SAVE YOU.  PUT THE DRUMSTICK DOWN, PASS THE GRAVY BOAT TO A FAMILY MEMBER, PICK UP YOUR CELL PHONE, INTERRUPT ANDREW FRIEDMAN'S DINNER AND GET SOMETHING DONE, PLEASE.

If not, it may be 2007 redux.  And trust me Kenny.  That's nothing to be thankful for.

Lighting Round

• The White Sox have signed Scott Linebrink to a four-year deal.  If he pitches like he did for the Brewers, Mike MacUseless is going to look pretty good by comparison.  I'm just saying.
• "And then, Brett Favre went and laid hands on this woman and she got up out her wheelchair and walked. And, then she danced.  And did a back flip. And then, Brett Favre turned the Fox River into Miller Lite.  And then, he turned plain cloth into Wrangler Jeans."  What was local hero worship when I got here three years ago has spread into a national epidemic.  An annoying, national epidemic.  Meanwhile, the fudge Packers, who are playing an arena league schedule, are 10-1.
• Mike Singletary proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that he still is one of the smartest NFL people ever.  It's obvious whoever takes over at Baylor will inherit a culture similar to that of the Arizona Cardinals or the pre-Rocky Wirtz Chicago Blackhawks.
  
• Darth Visor is looking for a little more performance from his Cocks
• Barry Bonds past acquaintances apparently get mad and even.
• If Kansas gets past Missouri Saturday, Oklahoma may not be the big road block that I first thought they would be.  In fact, Oklahoma State may take them without Sam Bradford behind center.
• If Tennessee wins another national championship with Phillip Fulmer at the helm, Vol fans would get two things they want: A championship and Fulmer's retirement.  I think the latter will happen before the former.
• Butch Davis agrees to a one year extension with North Carolina.  Hey Butch, just think how many more years they would have given you if you actually had a decent year.  This probably keeps him from running off to Arkansas.  Or Texas A&M.  Or the St. Louis Rams.
  
• Steve Kragthorpe says reports of him of leaving Louisville for SMU are fiction. Louisville fans are hoping they become fact.
• This is the problem with computer background checks.  Sometimes people get hurt.  People like Bugs Bunny, Elmer Fudd and Daffy Duck for instance.
  
• How come I never had teachers like this?