The Twinkie dome or the Roller Dome or whatever you want to call it is tonight's menu for "The Three Stooges Call a Football Game" more commonly known as Monday Night Football.  You show me a Bears fan who doesn't have a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach today and I'll show you a Bears fan who has a Brett Favre bobblehead they worship in secret.

The fact is, the Vikings are on the cusp of getting in as a wild card team, a position the Bears are highly envious of.  But it doesn't matter, because the bears are too banged up and too far beyond legally dead this season to really make a go at it.

For example, Kyle Orton is starting at Quarterback.  Nothing against Orton, but he's a bit rusty after not playing for two years.  He's handing off to a backup running back and a midget.  His receivers have had an epic case of the dropsies this year and Orton is an average quarterback at best.  Lovie Smith says Orton gives the Bears the best chance to win.  Yeah, we heard that about Moses Moreno and Wil Furrer too.  And if Orton, your third stringer who you haven't played since 2005 is your best chance to win, what does that say about the other two guys?  Does this mean the Bears are going to flush everyone and draft a decent quarterback and hook him up with a veteran?

Don't buy for a minute Ron Turner's vow to not put Orton on a short leash.  He's put the two quarterbacks ahead of him on a short leash, you think he's going to change his philosophy because it's Orton? 

Besides, the offensive line is a disaster and the Bears will be lucky if Orton doesn't have to be removed from the Hump Dome turf with a putty knife.

Defensively, the Bears are banged up inside.  Tommie Harris can barely walk, Darwin Walker won't play and everyone else was picked off a street corner or construction site, fitted with a uniform and told to go hit somebody.  Brian Urlacher is banged up and the secondary is made up of Peanut and the Lil' Nuts, a bunch of rookies who have marginal talent.  They can't stop the run, which hurts when you have to face Purple Jesus and Chester Taylor.  Even if the Vikings don't pass the ball once, they will still win.

So, on the road, on Monday night football, I give the Bears, under these circumstances a snow ball's chance in Florida of winning.  And just think.  Next week they play the Fudge Packers. 

Lightning Round

• More on the Bears from Rickhouse at Tremendous Upside Potential.
• The Dolphins get their first win of the year as predicted by Butkus D. Dogg.  Nicely played, B.D.
• The Giants lost to the Skins then lost Jeremy Shockey.  Not a real good day for the G-Men.
• This is the kind of nonsensical crap I read all weekend about the Mitchell report.  Gloom and doom, the game will never be the same, yadda, yadda, yadda.  Look, the Mitchell report was done to indemnify baseball against congress shredding their anti-trust exemption.  The owners knew the players were juiced, the fans knew the players were juiced and most of them, like Andy Pettite were not juiced to enhance performance but to come back from injury.  Bottom line: Fans still love the game and this will pass just like the Black Sox and just like the drugs in the 80's.  The Mitchell report is 400 pages of Captain Obvious.
• Rich Rodriguez says "show me the money!."  Michigan does.  Be careful what you wish for, coach.  You had a great thing going at UWV and now you are willing to risk it for the box that Bill Martin is now holding.  Good luck, Rich. 
  
• If NBC, FOX, CBS and ESPN had their way, October 10 would be a national holiday with the whole intent of going to your house of worship and thanking your God that you have Brett Favre in your life.  Un-freakin-believable.  I know he's a great player, I get that.  But can you please, please, please tone it down a couple of notches.  It's approaching Michael Jordan proportions.
• Gus Johnson, a man who is famous for screaming now has his own web site because of all the love that bloggers have given him.  Not this blogger, kids.  I think the guy is a total hack and I cannot, for the life of me, understand what the attraction is.  I'm either too tough on people or really dense and I'll bet you your beer money it's the former and not the latter.
• Today's list: 10 cool gifts for film buffs.