Dear Mr. President-elect:

We don't know if you being President-elect covers us (since we don't pay taxes.  Well, technically a dog license is a tax, but we digress) but we heard about you having to make your first major post election decision and felt that it was our patriotic duty to help.

We heard that you are going to get your little girls a new puppy when you move to Washington.  We would like to suggest you look into the noble Bichon Poo or the Bichon Frise. of which we are.

Why would one of our breed make a good first dog?  There are several reasons including Bichons don't shed, they're smart (unless you look at Butkus' track record in football picks this year) they love kids and they're affectionate.)  You know, the opposite of Hillary Clinton.

In addition, Bichons are very protective of those we love, so if someone tries to sneak into your new house or Jesse Jackson comes to visit, we'll take care of it.  

Bichons are really small too, so they can hide under your desk in your office and nip your ankle to warn you that Joe Biden is telling a fib or that your liberal friends are about to hammer the middle class with a ridiculous tax increase. Or that your health plan borders on something you might see in a country like Russia. Or that the new maid you just hired snuck in under a fence somewhere and needs to be sent back immediately along with all her family and all of her relatives.  Or that giving a bunch of Wall Street crooks billions of dollars is like letting them get away with it while regular working people continue to go deeper in debt and lose their houses. Or if someone offers you a glass of global warming kool-aid, like that slick dude who says he invented the Internet.

In fact, Mr. President-Elect, we, ourselves, would like to volunteer as first dog.  We love the bald guy and Mama, but to be able to serve our country would be way cool.  That and we're sure that you will serve us much better food than the crap that the bald guy and Mama feed us. And, best of all, we're both White Sox fans.

We're here, ready to serve our country and be the best first dogs we can be.  Yes, we can!

God bless the United States of America.
Most sincerely,

Butkus D. Dogg
Murphy A. Dogg