Thanks, Jake Peavy.  Thanks for your rejection.  Thanks for your lack of respect.  Thanks for your hillbilly ways.  I hope you choke on a bone in one of your beloved San Diego fish tacos.

I don't get you, Jake. You get an opportunity to come one of the top sports cities in the country, a city where all five professional teams (in sports that matter) should be contending every year for a long time.  A city where the fans are fair and smart.  A city where they are passionate about sports, not just a bunch of surf dudes waiting for the next tide.

But you couldn't see that, could you, Jake?

The White Sox are four years removed from winning a world series championship.  They have a General Manager who does what ever it takes to win (like attempting to trade for your sorry butt) .  They have a manager who is passionate about the game and about winning.  He's never lost 100 games in a season like your current manager has. They have one of the top pitching coaches in the game, a man who has had resounding success with all kinds of pitchers young and old, whole and broken.   

Yet, Jake, you spit in all of their eyes.

Who in the hell do you think you are, you arrogant piece of crap?

Here's a team that is willing to lay top prospects and top dollar on the line to acquire you and you say "San Diego is the place to be."  For how long?  Until the Cubs, Braves or Cardinals come calling?  So what?  So You can hit?  So you can play in an inferior league?  So you can play for someone other than Ozzie Guillen?

And, oh, by the way, Jake, Ozzie played for two of the three managers that you pine to play for and both of them have nothing but good things to say about him.  You really think playing for Tony LaRussa, Bobby Cox or Sweet Lou would be any different than playing for Ozzie Guillen? You a xenophobe, Jake?

Last year, another player, a sure bet first ballot hall of famer, waived his no trade clause to come play for the Sox because he knew it would be a positive experience.  He wanted to play in Chicago, he wanted to play for Ozzie, he wanted to play in the playoffs.  And he's a first ballot hall of famer.  You may or may not get to the hall of fame, Jake, and you don't have near his clout or cred.

This wasn't the fat girl asking the quarterback for a date.  This was Jessica Freakin' Alba walking right up to you and dropping her robe.  And you treated her like she was Rosie O'Donnell.  What's your problem, Jake?

So, go back to your bunch of losers in San Diego, enjoy the surf and sun and someday soon in October, when you have the playoffs on, the good guys in black will wink and nod to you while you sit on your sorry butt and watch it on TV. Take your cut fast ball and your arrest record and get the hell away from us.  Kenny will find someone that treats the Sox with the respect they deserve, that wants to pitch for a team that has at least a shot.

I hope the Cubs kick your sorry redneck, law breaking, disrespecting ass tonight.