Piniella's Tirade Lands Him In Deep S***

Lou Piniella's dressing down of meteoric outfielder Milton Bradley during the sixth inning of Friday's Cub win has landed the Cub skipper in trouble with an activist group.

According to reports, Piniella screamed at Bradley  "You are not a ballplayer, you are a piece of S***!"

Now, a group that defends s**** wants Piniella fired.

Alan Raye, President of the group People United For The Love of Excrement And S*** Evolution (PUHLEASE) says Piniella's words were hurtful, slanderous and over the line.

"S*** gets a bad rap" Raye told reporters outside of U.S. Cellular Field where PUHLEASE members had gathered to protest. "But without S*** there would be no fertilizer and without fertilizer there would be no ridiculously over priced organic vegetables.  Then what would liberal Americans grow in their back yard?""

Raye went on to say that be calling someone a piece of S*** furthered the stereotype that s*** is a bad thing.  "People equate S*** with cleaning up babies or picking up your dog's mess on your new carpet or going into the bathroom and getting blown away by the person who used it before you, but it plays an important role in our society.  Without it, we couldn't be full of it, take one or be out of luck."

Raye says Piniella should be fired because his words were hurtful to those who love s***.  "Mr. Piniella clearly demonstrates a bias and perhaps even a hatred for S***.  Clearly, a baseball team in a city with the diversity of Chicago needs to have a manager who is sensitive to all forms of organic material, whether it is alive or it is a waste product.  After all, s*** starts it's journey as living matter."

PUHLEASE plans on holding protests outside ballparks where the Cubs are playing except on Wednesday when two or their three members have a spin class at the Y.

The Reverends Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson have offered to mediate the situation.

Piniella and Cub officials had no comment.

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