I saw this in the Sun-Times this morning and LMAO:

Manager Ozzie Guillen bought a Rosetta Stone kit to learn Japanese on this trip, but his son Ozzie Jr. said his dad already had tried it and quit for now.

Perhaps Ozzie should purchase the English speaking one first. In fact, maybe Rosetta Stone could issue an Ozzie Guillen Rosetta Stone for Sox fans. 

Brooks Boyer could even create a Rosetta Stone night. You could give free admission to anyone named Rosetta or Stone. Or to some named Rosetta Stone who brings her dog to the ballpark. Or is dressed like Elvis.  You get the idea.