I can't tell you how good it is to be back.  It's been a long summer, trying to dodge getting sat on by the fat dog or ducking things flying across the living room that the bald guy throws when he watches a White Sox game.  I don't know who Tony Pena is, but from the way the bald guy reacts to him, I think he's Latin for Mike MacUseless.

What an interesting off season.  I never thought Auburn would dump Tommy Tuberville.  The bald guy says he's probably working on a used car lot now.

Then that Hillbilly guy wants to quit and then he decides to play for Minnesota.  The neighbors behind us made a campfire of his Packers jerseys and burned them while the bald guy laughed until he cried.  Believe it or not, Bears and Packer fans now have something in common, but only after September 13th. 

Since the pros don't get underway until next weekend, we're just going to do five college games this week.  This is my preseason.  Last year, I was 105-65, the year before that I was 113-79, so I get about sixty percent right.  I may be just a little poo dog, but I am a little poo dog with cahones (Actually, I'm not.  The vet removed them a couple of years ago, but if I still had them, they'd be huge. )

We do our games straight up.  In our house, spread is something Mama puts on her biscuits.

College

• Georgia vs. Oklahoma State: Mike Gundy is what now, 43?  He'll be the man tomorrow as Zack Robinson and the high powered OK State offense make Boone Pickens smile.  Georgia not only has to replace Matthew Stafford, but also Knowshon Moreno. That's a lot to deal with in your first game against a team that hasn't lost at home in their last 15 games.  Take OK. State.Georgia.
• Missouri vs. Illinois:   This is a big game for Illinois coach Ron Zook.  The Big Ten is about as good as the AL Central this year, and if Zook wants to contend with the big boys, this game is a must.  Missouri has a new quarterback, sophomore Blaine Gabbert who is untested and the jury is still out as to whether they are close to having the talent to execute the spread at close to the level they did when they had Jeremy Maclin and Chase Daniel.  Besides, Illinois has the Juice. Take Illinois.
• BYU vs. Oklahoma:  The only thing you need to know about this game is that Sam Bradford will be at quarterback for OU.  If the Sooners are going to compete for a shot in the national title game again, they need to win big over BYU.  For BYU, they have nothing to lose, especially when you consider if they lose tomorrow,  their BCS hopes are probably gone. Take Oklahoma
• LSU vs. Washington.  This isn't your Daddy's LSU team, but Less Miles and company have way too much talent to lose to a rebuilding Washington team, which was so bad last year they lost to Washington State.  They were so bad, they lost to everybody.! Steve Sarkisian is going to question his sanity in taking this gig by halftime.  Take LSU. Big
• Alabama vs. Virginia Tech: This is the game of the day tomorrow as the Tide opens against Va. Tech.  Both teams have new quarterbacks, but Alabama's is more like an upgrade.  Alabama's defense is one of the best in the country, and Va. tech may have problems moving the ball without running back Darren Evans who tore an ACL in pre-season workouts.  One more thing. Give the debacle that was the Sugar Bowl, this little dog has absolutely no doubt that Coach Satan will have the Tide ready to roll (get it ? Tide? Roll?  You know, like Roll Tide! Damn, this is a tough room!)  Take Alabama.