Kansas Athletic Director Lew Perkins has finally used that ax he's been sharpening across the neck of football coach Mark Mangino.  Despite rebuilding Kansas' moribund football program over the last eight years, the Big Boy was shown the door largely because he has a bunch of cry baby players and an AD that didn't hire him.

Yesterday, it was announced that Mangino has "resigned."  Literally, that means "forced out the door with a check and a promise not to sue Perkins for defamation." 

This whole process has the appearance of a set up. One wonders what would have happened had Kansas not lost their last seven games.

Here's Perkins' release with literal translation provided by me in bold italics:

“We appreciate the eight years that Mark has given to rebuilding our football program,” (Which sucked before he got here)  “He and I have reached a mutually satisfactory agreement that reflects the appreciation we have for his efforts on behalf of Kansas Football. (We offered him a boatload of cash to go away.)

“As you know we have recently completed an internal review of the football program (which has been termed by many as a witch hunt.  Those people are absolutely right)  I have been instructed by legal counsel that we cannot release any documents related to this investigation (I will, however, order some underling to leak them to you at a later date just like I've had them leak everything else.), nor any details regarding our settlement agreement. (Lawyers, a plague upon us all) The investigation and settlement agreement will remain part of Mark’s personnel records. (along with all the conjecture I drummed up from my secret meetings with his more sensitive players.  Polling, the best firing technique EVAH!)

“Mark has brought much success to the football program at KU,”  “He can leave with confidence (and a hefty check just as long as he leaves) that he has turned the football program around and set it on a path to even greater future success. (However, you might ask yourself, if he was so successful, why am I firing his large buttocks?)

“As always, our principal concern remains our student-athletes.(And their parents who write our athletic department checks)  Coaches David Beaty, Clint Bowen and Bill Miller will share interim head-coaching duties (which is sort of silly considering we're done for the year and no recruit is going to come near this place until I hire a full-time replacement).  I have the utmost confidence in their abilities and dedication.” (I own their asses if they want to come back next year.)

“I know people will float a number of names out there but I will not comment on any potential candidates.(because I am going to have a hell of a time finding someone stupid enough to want to work for me)  I can only tell you I am certain that great things lie ahead for our Kansas football program.(Nothing is wrong with third place in the Big 12.  We're a freakin' basketball school for crying out loud.) There’s a great buzz surrounding Kansas Football (mostly coaches phone lines going dead when I ask them if they want to come here); we have great fans and facilities, and we’ve demonstrated a strong commitment to the success of our program.” (of course, the man that made it successful just got shoved out the door.)