It's become ironic that as badly as bears fans wanted to set former offensive coordinator Ron Turner adrift in a one oared rowboat in the middle of Lake Michigan, the names we've been hearing seem even a worse alternative.

At first, Jeremy Bates, a young and inexperienced play caller was being considered largely due to his relationship with Bears quarterback Jay Cutler.  When Bates decided to follow Pete Carroll to Seattle, the names you heard the most were Mike Martz and Ken Zampese. 

Martz is a quack.  He's sort of the NFL's version of Mike Leach.  You love him or hate him, but there is no in between.  Cutler is already sensitive, Martz would just screw with his head.  I don't know anything about Zampese, other than his dad used to run the offense for the Rams. 

On the defensive side, it's obvious that Perry Fewell thinks that Tom Coughlin will have a longer shelf life than Lovie Smith.  That's why he passed up the Bears and went to the Giants.  Mike Nolan is available, but he's a 3-4 guy and a former head coach who, like Martz, has made his share of enemies.  I can't see Lovie and Nolan finding common ground when it comes to the part of the game Lovie is the most passionate about. And Nolan and Martz on the same staff seems like the stuff that nightmares are made of.

So, you wonder who is out there that the Bears haven't talked to?  Even Chan Gailey looks like he'll have a job soon as the new coach of the Buffalo Bills. 

I have not seen the name Jeff Jagodzynski brought up.  Jags did a nice job as OC with the Packers, then helped develop Matt Ryan at Boston College.  He was hired by Tampa but was fired in the pre-season because there was a question about his ability to communicate plays, whatever that means. He would be a great addition as a quarterbacks coach.

I'd consider Mike Leach too, if he were available and the price is right.  Of course, he'd probably lock Rashied Davis in a shed, but that's a good thing.  I also wonder if any one has thought about deposed Kansas coach Mark Mangino.  Before he abused players at Kansas, Mangino was a pretty good OC at Oklahoma.  Of course, the NFL is a league who lives by it's image and the um, portly Mangino probably wouldn't look that great on Fox. But he is a viable option.

On defense, it would be awesome to get Les Frazier back as a Bear, but I doubt Minnesota will give the Bears permission to talk to him.  I sure Les has spoken with former teammate Ron Rivera who has probably told him some not so nice things about Lovie, so even if the Bears could talk to Les after the Vikings season ends, he probably would stay with the Vikings.

Mike Tice is coming to coach the offensive line.  That's okay, Tice is a good position coach.  Just don't go on a Wandella cruise with him.

Jim Mora Jr. is a pretty good defensive coordinator, or was at one time.  Perhaps he would step in. 

Most of the experts think (and I agree) that the coaching world is pretty convinced that given the current personnel in house and the lack of draft picks for the next couple of years, the Bears are doomed to failure.  If Ted Phillips is shooting straight, Lovie has a year to get his ducks lined up or he will be out the door.  Most coaches, no matter how nomadic they may appear, don't want to sign on as deckhands on the Titanic after it has hit the iceberg.

The search is ongoing, but the only guy out of all of these who appears willing to gamble is Martz.  I loved the line in the press conference where Jerry Angelo said that Chicago was a great place for coaches to come and that they would be getting phone calls from coaches who want to work for the Bears.  Unfortunately, none of the right guys have called yet.